What happens when you fall in love with a baker?

On my delusional days (which happens quite often), I fancy myself a writer. And then I found this : http://karenfelloutofbedagain.tumblr.com/post/14327141634/what-happens-if-you-fall-in-love-with-a-writer

I immediately fell in love with what she wrote. of course, i got jealous, like most delusional writers are. So I made my own version. I decided to use my being a baker instead to make things more legit. 

This is for you, Camera Boy.

What happens when you fall in love with a baker?

You will have to endure 2 am phone calls just to hear her cry over a flopped birthday cake due in the morning. You will have to run around the city and waste gas just to find a single bar of cream cheese, because frankly, your city does not seem to think cream cheese matters at all. You will have to grate six blocks of cheese, and whip up ten eggwhites until stiff but not dry, just because you have bigger arm muscles than her. She will not speak to you if you refuse to take pictures of her latest creation. And you will end up having flour on your new black shirt.

Sure, you get first dibs on her latest sweets creation. But that’s just the thing. You will be fashioned into a food critic. You will be expected to take mouthfuls and mouthfuls of sweets until your tongue numbs. And even if you hate nuts on chocolate, you have no choice but to devour them. You will be expected to be honest in a civil manner. If you say it’s good, she won’t believe you. If you say it’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever tasted, she’ll cry. Yes, you will crush her spirit. But you have to live with the fact that doing so will make her a better baker.  You will have to go through the cold war after that.

You will start to feel less and less special. She will treat her kitchen tools with more love than she could show you. You don’t go out on dates anymore because all she ever wants to do is stay at home and cook.

You will have to listen to her drone for hours and hours about her culinary dreams. And even if you’ve heard it a million times, you are expected to nod and smile in all the right sentences. If you don’t, she’ll think you don’t believe in her. You will not hear from her for hours and hours afterward. She will not answer your calls because she’s in the middle of a baking frenzy. And the only reply you’ll get to your “ I love you” message is a curt “K”.

But what happens when a baker falls in love with you?

You will have mini-cupcakes delivered to you at any random day. Or chocolate chip muffins. Or heart-shaped cookies. You will have the luxury of eating French Macarons for free, knowing that one bite would already cost you more than your day’s allowance. A dish will be named after you. Or dishes, for each and every name you have. You will receive your coveted SLR lens in fondant form, and while you cannot use it to take pictures, it can withstand damage from fluids, unlike the real one. You will find a gumpaste mini-figure of yourself in her dresser. Or in her kitchen counter. Whatever works just to keep your presence close by. You will never have to miss out on your favorite food again. She will labor for hours in the kitchen, knowing that you deserve only the best. You will get to save money, and eat delicious home-cooked food at the same time. Your life will be filled with sweetness.

You will get to see the sweet smile on her face when she’s finally made it big, knowing that you played an important role in helping her reach that dream. You will become an inspiration, a guiding light, and a constant best friend to her. You will be her source of joy and strength.

You will get to hear her say “I love you, too” early in the morning, just as she hits the sack, and you’re about to start your day.  She will be a variety of all things sweet, spicy, salty, sour, and bitter. Everything will become unpredictable and exciting.

If you fall in love with a baker, your life will change.